Don’t Be George – Volume 2: The Great Ladder Shortcut of ‘25
Filed under: Physics still applies to you, George.
Some people learn by doing.
Others learn by observing.
George learns by falling.
This week’s journal entry from the king of catastrophic decision-making brings us a tale of laziness, ladder misuse, and a healthy disrespect for gravity. Or as George calls it, “just trying to save time.”
Let’s get into it.
Scene of the Incident: Two Scaffolds, One Bad Idea
It was a typical Tuesday. Lunch was fifteen minutes away, and George was on the far side of the job site, staring down a trip back to the break area that required walking around a scaffold and taking the long way across a freshly poured slab.
But George isn’t known for taking the long way.
He looked at the ladder. He looked at the scaffold. And he did what only George would do—he laid the ladder horizontally across the gap and decided it would now function as a bridge. A bridge, by the way, made of aluminum, rated for vertical weight only, and loosely balanced between two uneven surfaces.
He called it “innovative.”
We call it “attempted manslaughter… of himself.”
The Walk of Shame (Midair)
Two steps in, the ladder shifted. Three steps in, it flexed like a pool noodle. By step four, George’s center of gravity filed for divorce. He went airborne, arms flailing, face locked in that slow-motion look of “I’ve made a terrible mistake.”
He landed between a pile of conduit and the foreman’s dignity. Both were bent.
Witnesses say it sounded like “a walrus hitting a dumpster full of rebar.”
What George Said After Regaining Consciousness:
“It was only six feet. OSHA won’t even notice.”
What the foreman said:
“They will. And they’ve already emailed me. Twice.”
The Aftermath: Bruises, Blame, and One Less Ladder
The ladder is now bent in the middle like a sad taco. George is fine—because of course he is. He limped to lunch insisting the fall was “part of a training video” and suggested we build more “bridge ladders” using scrap wood and “strategic hope.”
He’s banned from scaffold work until further notice.
The apprentice now carries an actual camera on-site in case George attempts anything “educational” again.
Takeaways From This Gravity-Fueled Disaster
Let’s extract a few nuggets of wisdom from the wreckage:
-
Ladders are not bridges. Ever.
I can’t believe this needs to be said, but here we are. -
Shortcuts kill.
If walking an extra 30 feet saves you a trip to the ER and a call from corporate safety, maybe take the long way. -
If you have to say “I think this’ll hold”—it won’t.
George has said this exact phrase before every incident. It’s basically a verbal OSHA trigger. -
Common sense isn't actually common.
George is proof that sometimes the safety manual needs to include pictures. Big ones. With bold print.
Final Words from The Lumber Whisperer
Bridges are designed by engineers. Ladders are designed by people who assume the user has at least one functioning brain cell. George violated both those assumptions in under a minute.
This is your reminder that job site safety is not optional, and neither is gravity. So unless you want your next safety meeting to start with the sentence, “Let me tell you what George did this time,” take a moment, take the long way, and above all…
Don’t. Be. George.
Next Up: Volume 3 – “I Used Brake Cleaner to Wash My Hands”
Spoiler: They’re not cleaner. Just brighter. And possibly flammable.
Want a quick promo post, quote card, or gang box printout to go with this one? Let me know. Let’s keep George’s legacy alive—so no one repeats it.
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